To jill carroll is also with love

Kepada Jill Carrol dengan kasih…

Dear Ooi Beng Kooi,

I saw your name as a contact person for Tsem Tulku Rinpoche and his center. I am an American who believes in Buddhism. Two things that mean a lot to me are Buddhism and animals and when I did a search on the internet on both Buddhism and animals I found Tsem Tulku Rinpoche. I have watched several videos on You Tube and I am very thankful for the teachings. I watched one video about being happy and have learned a lot. I now just apologized to my sisters in which we are arguing. I would like to thank Tsem Tulku Rinpoche for his kind teachings that he shares on the internet. This is a blessing.

I am seeking advice on something that is very painful to me. If Tsem Tulku Rinpoche or you, or anyone at the center can give guidance on this it would be most appreciated. I realize that everyone must be very busy with very important things and that I am just one sentient being but this problem is holding me back and maybe if I can resolve it I can be of help to other sentient beings…

I have always loved dogs. I had one german shepherd dog who died young at 8 years old from lymphoma cancer. I was heartbroken and felt that I must have done something wrong to bring on his

cancer. I felt very sad because I always thought that I was taking good care of him. I vowed to never adopt another dog again as I must be a bad dog owner and do not want to go through the pain of

losing another dog. A year and a half later my sister found another german shepherd dog in a shelter. No body wanted to adopt him as he was old and had a fierce temperment. I agreed to adopt him as I said that he has no hope anyway of another home. As soon as I rescued him we saw that he too was not well and could not walk. We took him to a vet and they said that he has cancer and then they urged us to euthanize him. This was withhin 24 hours of adopting him. I was very sad and my husband told me that we should adopt another dog, a younger dog and give him a chance for a good life so that he doesn’t have to face a life in a shelter like the one who just died. . I adopted then a one year old german shepherd (I feel loyal to that breed). He was a sad dog who was apparently abused. He was afraid to eat, afraid to be pet and didn’t even know what a toy was. We gave him a happy and secure life and very quickly bonded. I named him Buddy. I was super careful to take good care of him. I was so fearful of dogs getting cancer that I analyzed everything I did. I even cooked his food for him rather than give him dog food.

When he reached about 8 years old he too got sick. The vet and I did not realize what the illness was. We did not know it was cancer. On the last day of his life he collapsed and they did a sonogram and found a rare stomach cancer that spread through his body. As compassion to him the vet urged us to euthanize him. Buddy died October 14, 2010.

It is now 6 months since his death. I am still heartbroken and cry every day missing him and praying that he is well. I want to help animals but don’t feel confidence. I want to feel that my dog’s soul is well Is it my karma to experience this loss of losing my dogs when they are young? Was it my dogs’ karma to both die at age 8? I always second guess myself and like to feel that I like to have control over things. Is that a wrong way to be? If I have a sincere heart should I adopt more dogs?

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this email. Buddhism makes so much sense. I am grateful to learn it.

Thanks, Jill Carroll


Dear Jill, I have recorded a message for you below. I wish you the best and continue to love, Tsem Rinpoche.


Translation Disclaimer from Tsem Rinpoche’s blog

This translation is the work of a third party translator external to the Kechara Organisation. Should confusion arise in the interpretation of the Indonesian versions of the materials of this page, the English version will be considered as accurate. While every effort is made to ensure the accuracy of the translation, portions may be incorrect. Any person or entity who relies on information obtained from the article does so at his or her own risk.

© The copyright to this article is held by Tsem Tulku Rinpoche. It may be downloaded, printed and reproduced only for personal or classroom use. Absolutely no downloading or copying may be done for, or on behalf of, any for-profit commercial firm or other commercial purpose without the explicit permission of Tsem Tulku Rinpoche. For this purpose, contact Ooi Beng Kooi or Phng Li Kim of Kechara Media and Publication Liaison.

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